Instructions on Dealing With a Highway Traffic Cop. [entries|friends|calendar] Can't you guess? Don't you know? SHE'S NOT REAL. [ website | Transvestite Melodrama. ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

MOUTH MONSTER [07 Dec 2009|11:06pm] This is me right now: Embrace the mouth monster. I am ready to be better now. want to be certified?

[07 Dec 2009|02:49pm] "I don't care about you enough to torment you anymore." want to be certified?

So... much... The Smiths.... [07 Dec 2009|01:51am] I'm going to continue listening to The Smiths, New Order, The Cure, and occasionally the Pixies, and there's nothing you can do about it. It's raining quite hard here tonight. B-side: Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want. want to be certified?

Art Mirrors Real Life! [06 Dec 2009|10:29am] I love Bizarre Love Triangle WAY too much. Ok, that's it. I've got severe survey of modern and classical drama message board burn-out. I need to take a nap or eat something besides bananas and cheese crackers or read a book or something. Now I've got another thing to add to the list of things I shouldn't sleep in the bed with: bottles of cough medicine. want to be certified?

Hmmm... [06 Dec 2009|10:24am] I can think of one big fat ugly goblin-reason why an English degree from Chico State might not work out after all... want to be certified?

Story of My Life... [06 Dec 2009|03:56am] "You are waiting for approval from ____." Uh-oh. Stop throwing my sad reality into such sharp relief, Myspace! Totally not cool. I need to immerse myself in all the things I used to care about and stop defining myself so much by other people. Obviously, right? But it's been going on for ages now and I have been abysmally unaware of how bad it had gotten until very recently. Because other people still feel like the most important thing, but I've completely lost touch with myself as an individual. Jesus christ, how codependent does that sound?! I don't feel codependent, I really don't, I just put such stock in interpersonal relationships... Somewhere along the line, probably when they started to show an interest, my hobby became men, and now I just don't know what to do with my time. That's so awful. I didn't expect for all of this to sound so awful. I guess it's good to get it out there, though. If I'm forced to face the Man Monster I've apparently become, maybe there's still hope that I can change, make things better before it's too late. Especially considering my latest endeavor in no way compliments or aligns with what I have and should hold nearest and dearest to my heart. I am not Patricia Quinn, I will NOT be easily seduced by skin-heat and chin-stubble... Maybe if I say it over and over, with enough conviction, I can make it true. Why does personal growth always take such a long time? And why does it have to hurt so much? This is nonsense. What a waste of time. I mean, not really, but... you know. It FEELS like a waste of time, and that's what hurts the most of all? I'm a bit whacked out on cough medicine at the moment. Fancy cough medicine from my excessively attentive roommate. Cough medicine that was left for me on the bathroom counter, complete with humorous, anthropomorphic notes. Danger, danger Will Robinson. That's not a place I want to go, it's really not, but sometimes I'm just so tempted by The Worst Possible Decision. That's how any of this most recent conquest got started. But eventually, if you play with enough fire, you're going to get burned. I have to be cliche enough for the both of us. On an unrelated note, I've listened to "Plainsong" like seven times in a row now, and I don't really see it stopping there. That's a problem, isn't it? I think that's a problem. want to be certified?

Deep Dark Secret Fail [03 Dec 2009|12:32am] I've been spilling the beans now about once a year for the past four years. Some were more successful than others, but none could really qualify as satisfying. Ah, well. Maybe next year. want to be certified?

Swiftly Approaching Bad Decision Town [02 Dec 2009|02:23am] You are ordinary. Shame on you. Shame on you for being so disgustingly ordinary. And shame on me for liking you so much anyway. want to be certified?

Sentimental Monster [01 Dec 2009|11:51pm] One of these days, I'll learn how to be happy with the Young American. And then I won't need these god damn Slinky Vagabonds. I admire you, New Girl, for having the mental and emotional fortitude and wherewithal to leave someone you didn't like. We should hook up. I think it would make me feel better. want to be certified?

Bitch Karma [01 Dec 2009|08:54am] I spent a solid hour last night making fun of that girl on House for being a skanky cole sore bitch, but then lo and behold, I wake up this morning to discover my first cole sore in what must be at least two years now... Ouch, and disgusting, and it's totally stupid when you get what you deserve. want to be certified?

Why So Precious? [24 Nov 2009|11:33pm] I am being 1/2 of adorable roommates right now. I had just started watching House when Dom came home, so I restarted it, and we watched it together, and I fed him half of the surprisingly delicious spaghetti I made, and then afterward he did the dishes. Roommate Town: Break it down. want to be certified?

Even Better [24 Nov 2009|08:03pm] want to be certified?

Good Question. [24 Nov 2009|07:52pm] want to be certified?

Double-booked [24 Nov 2009|05:15pm] Ok, heart, head, it's time for you to come to some sort of understanding, because we are getting down to the wire. Thanks. want to be certified?

Self Respect [21 Nov 2009|09:09pm] Ain't got no. 1 scurvy shyster bastard| want to be certified?

Everybody Knows the Things She Does to Please [21 Nov 2009|07:48am] The decision forecast for this weekend was decidedly bad, but so far decisions made have been surprisingly good, or at least more neutral than expected. Body and Dana always know best, but I would prefer if subconscious would get in on this good decision making action. The decision forecast for NEXT weekend, however... I mean, do-overs don't even count, right? want to be certified?

Fair. [19 Nov 2009|03:37am] This isn't. I can't imagine why I of all people would think the world could be that way. "Free from blemish, imperfection, or anything that impairs the appearance, quality, or character," because all that matters is what they aren't. "Pleasing in appearance; attractive," and "without irregularity or unevenness." "Legitimately sought, pursued, done, given, etc.; proper under the rules." What rules? Legitimacy: never one of my strong suits. "Neither excellent nor poor; moderately or tolerably good." Sounds familiar, but is that really what I want? Shouldn't I want and expect more from life than that? Shouldn't... Should... Even the dictionary can't make up its mind about the definition of "fair." When will I learn... To take life's lessons, and move on? "seemingly good or sincere but not really so" Desensitization, yes please. Resensitization, no thank you. want to be certified?

FUCK FUCK FUCK [19 Nov 2009|03:16am] I am a little pixie, with no room for more than one emotion at a time. I am a fool, a fool, a fool, a fool. Why is it so easy to believe that just pretending hard enough will change the way I am? I let my guard down for TWO SECONDS and it all comes crashing down around me. I guess it's still and always the desperate hope that this is not the way I really am, that I have a choice, and that I'm strong enough to make it. I guess the first thing recovering bad people need to learn is how to surround themselves with... forgiving people. I am terrified of knowing what this world is about. want to be certified?

It's candy night, bitches! [18 Nov 2009|11:22pm] They had a massive unexpected sweets sale at Walgreens. I fully intend on bingeing myself into a candy coma. Long time no see, junk food therapy. want to be certified?

Relief. [09 Nov 2009|11:48pm] Oh, right. These feelings, not real ones. Got it. want to be certified?

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